By: James Robert Kessler c2007
Introduction: My experience as a Christian over the last 35 years has been quite an entertaining journey.I believe there are so many distortions concerning things found in Scripture that at times the way we present the gospel becomes more of a circus side show than it does the power of God to save people. When I watch Christian television and see such men as Benny Hinn and some other’s who I personally believe make a mockery out of God’s Word, my heart grieves.
My way of dealing with these things is through satire. So in my "pretend" interview with Mr. Hinn I become the reporter and ask him some questions that bring some of these issue’s to the forefront. Not to make fun of my brother but to show you how I see him in light of what the Scripture actually says. The Gospel isn’t about how to obtain material wealth or the perfect little house with the perfect little family. It is about eternal relationship with our God while we are here on earth and afterwards through the power of the belief in a cross our Savior died upon.
I would encourage everyone to just read their Bibles a little more often and seek only after the things that produce Godly fruit in this life. And in reading the Scripture you will see that what I satirize has some merit and only brings to light the injustice that is being done to God’s Word in the name of marketing in all forms of the media arts. Sometimes including mine :-)
"The Holy Ghost, Jesus and Benny; The New Trinity"
The Interview:
Reporter; I love the name of your new book, "The Holy Ghost, Jesus, and Benny: The New Trinity". Aren’t you afraid most people might be offended by its title?
BH; Look my friend, people are offended by just about anything nowadays. They don’t like my thousand dollar suits or my jewelry and not to mention my fleet of private jets or my extraordinary wealth. Even the way I wear my hair at times seems to offend them.
Reporter; How long have you been in ministry and may I ask, what’s up with your hair today?
BH: Well first of all, in 1973 the Holy Spirit asked me personally if I would preach God’s word. I believe my hair styles reflect the way the holy spirit has worked in my ministry over the years. Sometimes I have good hair days sometimes bad. It the same with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes He blows here or blows there but my hair seems to always reflect those movements. That’s strait from the Scripture my friend.
Reporter; The Holy Spirit plays a great part in your ministry. I know you feel God has given you great insight to His purposes here on earth. You have also slain your countless thousands in the spirit over the years. I must ask you, when was the first time God inspired you to use the Holy Ghost machine gun during your crusades?
BH; The Holy Ghost machine gun is only used when God wants to mow down mass’s of His people with a special anointing of His Spirit. Not anyone can use it. It has to registered in heaven.
(Laughter) Of cause I’m kidding, it’s not registered at all.
Reporter; You got me there Benny. Did you receive special training to operate such a heavenly weapon of mass destruction?
BH; Please sir, I feel like you might be mocking me. For your precious sake the Holy Spirit wouldn’t be so kind to you if you disrespect me and my anointing.
Reporter; I’m sorry Benny but I am curious to your training for such an powerful, anointing weapon. Where did the idea come from?
BH; Actually I first using the machine gun in my crusades over in Africa. We needed something that would get the job done in a big way. There were over 1 trillion people at all of those crusades.
Reporter; Benny, you exaggerate a little. I think you mean 4or5 million all together?
BH; Have you ever heard of Ananias and Sapphira and how they mocked the Holy Ghost and were slain in the spirit? Keep it up my journalist friend and you might find someone carrying you off also.
Reporter; Are you threatening me Mr Hinn? It has been rumored that you have raised many from the dead. Is this true.
BH; Yes it is. Let me make this clear. It is God alone that raises men from the dead. I am just the humble man of God He chooses to do these great and mighty miracles through. As in the movie "The Sixth Sense", I see dead people everyday my friend. Praise the Lord.
Reporter; Benny concerning all your false prophecies. You have made so many false claims and predictions that one has to wonder how well you actually hear the Holy Spirit?
BH; You are treading on thin ice my friend. God does not take lightly your innuendoes. I’m only a man so sometimes I might not be hearing God very well. Again, remember Ananias and Sapphira and how thou shalt not touch God’s anointed!!!
Reporter; (mumbling) Maybe the Holy Ghost machine gun has affected your hearing?
BH; Excuse me.
Reporter; Moving on.......Well we counted your false prophecies and the total is over several thousand. Doesn’t that disqualify you according to biblical standards of being a prophet of God?
BH; My dear sir, haven’t you heard of forgiveness and human error. I don’t hold nothing against the Holy Spirit for trying to humble me at times. Oh you might cry blasphemy because of that statement but I say sticks and stones may break my bones but names.....
Reporter; Ok Benny let me just quote you here from 1990:
"The Lord also tells me to tell you in the mid 90's, about '94-'95, no later than that, God will destroy the homosexual community of America. [audience applauds] But He will not destroy it - with what many minds have thought Him to be, He will destroy it with fire. And many will turn and be saved, and many will rebel and be destroyed."
Benny this has not happened. We still have Homosexuals and your prophecy again was empty. How do you explain it?
BH; Think about my words. God has placed a fire in the very loins of these abominations we call homosexuals so that they can burn in their lusts. Many are saved because they turn to God and He extinguishes that fire with the water of His word and the one’s that rebel we call AIDS victims. I don’t see how you can misinterpret that my reporter friend.
Reporter; And finally Benny, your program "This is your Day" is now reaching millions of homes with the message of your gospel. Is this your greatest achievement?
BH; Hummmmm...my greatest achievement. My greatest achievement is my unending compassion towards all men both sinners and non-sinners alike. I’m a man of the people and a living example of humility.
Reporter; But Benny aren’t we all sinners and we all have fallen short of the mark according to the Scripture?
BH; Yes you are right my dear sir. Although some of us do have fire insurance. I can sell you some if you need it. BTW...our operators are on the line as I speak. They are ready to take your order's both for salvation and my new book :-) Thank you and God bless!!
***Benny’s new book is currently on sale for $25.99. The first 100 people who buy the book will receive an anointing bookmark that has been blessed by the author himself***
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